Transformation

Over a year ago I was in a store looking through bins filled with stones with my younger son, Caleb. He spotted this guitar pick shaped stone and handed it to me. I don't recall the name of it right now--experts feel free to educate me--but I remember looking at the meaning card near the bin and finding that it helps with transformation.

At the time I was working to complete my All The Way benefit album, and feeling fully the effects of transformation in my life, having lost my best friend and soul mate to pancreatic cancer July 27, 2013. I also sought to find my way back into performing professionally after nearly two years away from the stage. I needed transformation. Craved it. I moved through a difficult transitional landscape, longing to grow wings and fly over the treetops to see the path ahead, or develop four strong legs to carry me forward to the next stage in my life, the next version of me. Who would I become, and what would my life hold?

I like to carry this stone during times when I feel a need for comfort. It boosts my confidence in my ability to be okay here and now while welcoming the now that is arriving. I have not changed. I have changed profoundly. I believe that both are true of all of us. Life and our own strivings change us, while in essence we remain, having always been all that we can be, like an acorn, eternal. 

I am thankful for this pick-shaped stone to remind me of my Song when things seem hard. Today is one of those days as I recall the pain- and sorrow-filled passing of my beloved three years ago. Such hard days I hope to never see again!

Yet this is also a day of gratitude and comfort. How much has changed these past three years in my life!

In my musical life, I’ve found new outlets for my sharing song that give me opportunities to offer comfort and understanding to others going through hard times. In June, I opened for an internationally touring act at The Brink Lounge in Madison, Wisconsin! I’ve co-written a song to encourage the people of Burkina Faso, Africa in their struggle for social justice, and it is being jointly recorded and produced with Burkinabe musicians and singer Awa Melone. I’m loving all the work I’m engaged in now!

My personal life flows with wonder as well. I am grateful for a new partner; we strengthen one another. My friends and family make their ways through the world with trials, yes, but surrounded by love. We have food that nourishes us, housing that shelters us, the blessing of good health. We have each other.

All that pressed down into a thin wedge of stone I rub between my thumb and fingers for reassurance and strength. All that and more.